Kryceks black jacket and Mulders red speedo,
Anything else that excites my libido
Ashtrays of Morley butts left in a pile,
These are a few of my favourite X-Files.

When the flukeman bites, when the mites sting,
When I'm feeling sad
I simply rewatch my favourite X-Files
And then I don't feel so bad!

Psychics and iceworms and pyrokinesis,
Vampire and clones and the alien foetus,
Newspaper nests stuck together with bile,
These are a few of my favourite X-Files!!
 
 
  to the tune of If I only had a brain, from The Wizard of Oz.


I'd buy gloves and not have extras
And I'd be ambidextrous
If I only had an arm
I could pummel Fox and Dana
Then I'd do the macarena
If I only had an arm
I'd take vengeance on that prick
Who made me asymmetric
If I only had an arm
The fake one causes blisters
And I wish I could play Twister
If I only had an arm
Oh I could tell you why the finger meets the thumb
I could handstand and not fall on my bum
Then I'd clap when I'm done!!
I'd win at thumb wrestling
Its hell when you're undressing
If you've only got one arm.
I could tie my own shoe laces
I probably won't misplace it
If I only had an arm.
 
 
  to the tune of The Addams Family theme


Their father is their brother
They'd kill to save each other
They all slept with their mother
The Peacock family.
They're not apologetic
'Bout mixing their genetics
They're really quite pathetic
The Peacock family.